A Love Letter to Parents

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Most parents would risk their lives unto the death on behalf of their children. Why? Because of their love. And how we ought to love them! Have you ever written a letter to your parents telling them how much you love them? You say, "Well, it sounds so corny." I guarantee you they will never throw it away.

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Do it while you can. If your parents are still alive, take advantage of that opportunity. I have preached a good number of funerals, and frequently I have stood there at the grave when children tried in a funeral to make up for lost time with an expensive casket, beautiful flowers, and words of admiration. I'm not against any of those things, but dead noses smell no roses. What you want to do, do it now. Exodus 20:12 says, "Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." — Taken from a message by Dr. Adrian Rogers

 

A little boy and his father

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One Sunday night D. L. Moody preached in a big circus tent near the Columbian Exposition in Chicago from the text, "The Son of man is come to seek and to save that which is lost." After he had finished, a little boy was brought to the platform by an officer who had found the child wandering in the crowd lost. Mr. Moody took the child in his arms and asked the crowd to look at the lost child. Then he said, "The father of this child is much more anxious to find the child than the child is to be found. So it is with our heavenly Father. For long years He has been following you, oh sinner. He is following you still!" At that moment a man with a worried look on his face elbowed his way to the platform. The boy saw him and running threw himself into his father's outstretched arms. The crowd that witnessed the scene broke out into a mighty cheer. "Thus," cried Moody, "will God receive you if you will only run to Him today."

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Dear Father, are you distant from your children?

Do you desire to see your kids come to Christ?

Call on the healing power of Jesus.

God honors the prayers of a father.

He'll turn the hearts of the children if you first turn your heart to Him!

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Examples of Fatherhood

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                                              Adam               A SINFUL father                      Disobeyed God

                                              Enoch              A GODLY father                       Walked with God

                                              Noah                A FAITHFUL father                  Worked for God

                                              Abraham          A MODEL father                      Obeyed God

                                              Lot                    A FAILING father                     Forgot God

                                              Moses              A NOBLE father                       Served God

                                              Joshua             A WISE father                          Chose God

                                              Saul                  A DISGRACEFUL father         Ignored God

                                              Zacharias         A HUMBLE father                    Worshipped God

                                              Joseph             A FRUITFUL father                  Honored God

 

Father, can you locate yourself in the above list?

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"PAID IN FULL"

 

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As graduation day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box. Curious, and somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angry, he raised his voice to his father and said "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house.

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Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matthew 7:11, "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words "PAID IN FULL". "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" (Matthew 7:11)

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Dear Friend, how many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

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Example Of Bad Father

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In Chicago a boy was sent by a drunken father to buy something at a store. Somehow the lad lost the money and he dared not go home, for when drunk his father got dreadfully angry about the slightest thing. A man who saw the boy shivering in a doorway learned of his trouble and gave him the dollar he had lost. Thanking the kind stranger the boy went off to the store, but suddenly he turned back and looking wistfully at the man said, "I wish't you was my father!"

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He had just caught a glimpse of the difference it would make to have a good father instead of a drunken one.

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Dear Parents, what are you letting into your home that may end up devouring your children? God has placed you as the gatekeepers for your family and you need to be extra diligent. Don't allow unsavory literature, TV programs, videos, or other "adult" materials any place in your home. Such things may seem harmless, but they can eat your family alive.

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Dad Is Destiny

 

A cover article of U. S. News & World Report concluded that: "Dad is destiny. More than any other factor, a father’s presence in the family will determine a child's success and happiness." The article noted that nearly two out of every five children in America do not live with their fathers.

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Fatherless Families

 

"Why There is No Substitute for Parents"

— By Wade F. Horn

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In 1960, the total number of children living in fatherless families was fewer than eight million. Today, that total has risen to nearly twenty-four million. Nearly four out of ten children in America are being raised in homes without their fathers and soon it may be six out of ten. How did this happen? Why are so many of our nation's children growing up without a full-time father? It is because our culture has accepted the idea that fathers are superfluous—in other words, they are not necessary in the "modern" family. Supposedly, their contributions to the well-being of children can easily be performed by the state, which disburses welfare checks, subsidizes midnight basketball leagues, and establishes child-care facilities.

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Ideas, of course, have consequences. And the consequences of this idea have been as profound as they have been disastrous. Almost 75 percent of American children living in fatherless households will experience poverty before the age of eleven, compared to only 20 percent of those raised by two parents. Children living in homes where fathers are absent are far more likely to be expelled from or drop out of school, develop emotional or behavioral problems, commit suicide, and fall victim to child abuse or neglect. The males are also far more likely to become violent criminals. As matter of fact, men who grew up without dads currently represent 70 percent of the prison population serving long-term sentences.

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Sentence Me

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Perhaps the most tragic and heart-rending cry in the Old Testament is the cry of David when he received the news of the death of his foolish and traitorous son, Absalom. A careful study of the relationship of Israel's great king with his son reveals that Absalom's errancy could in no small measure be laid at David's door. The poignancy of David's cry carries with it the sense of his own personal responsibility: "O my son Absalom, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!" (2 Samuel 18:33).

 

"Sentence me!" a modern father said to the judge before whom his son stood to receive the sentence for a crime he had committed. "I have been so busy all my life making money, going through the chairs in my lodge, serving on boards and committees, I failed to concern myself with my boy. I alone am to blame." Undoubtedly, many a youth, serving a sentence in prison or reformatory, could point an accusing finger at his father who spent all his spare time on secondary matters to the neglect of his high responsibility of fatherhood.

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Balance between home and career

 

A few generations ago, a man captured the essence of this truth in some powerful words about the balance between home and career. When I read this good counsel written by Edgar Guest in My Job as a Father back in 1923, I can almost see the ghost of Solomon in the background, sadly nodding his head.

 

I have known of a number of wealthy men who were not successes as fathers. They made money rapidly; their factories were marvels of organization; their money investments were sound and made with excellent judgment, and their contributions to public service were useful and willingly made. All this took time and thought. At the finish there was a fortune on the one hand, and a worthless and dissolute son on the other. WHY? Too much time spent in making money implies too little time spent with the boy.

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When these children were youngsters romping on the floor, if someone had come to any one of those fathers and offered him a million dollars for his lad he would have spurned the offer and kicked him out the door. Had someone offered him ten million dollars in cash for the privilege of making a drunkard out of his son, the answer would have been the same. Had someone offered to buy from him for a fortune the privilege of playing with the boy, of going on picnics and fishing trips and outings, and being with him a part of every day, he would have refused the proposition without giving it a second thought.

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Yet that is exactly the bargain those men made, and which many men are still making. They are coining their lives into fortunes and automobile factories and great industries, but their boys are growing up as they may. These men probably will succeed in business; but they will be failures as fathers. To me it seems that a little less industry and a little more comradeship with the boy is more desirable.

 

Not so much of me in the bank, and more of me and of my best in the lad, is what I should like to have to show at the end of my career. To be the father of a great son is what I should call success. ...This is what I conceive my job to be. — By Edgar Guest

 

Fathers Absence: Studies show that the absence of the father expresses itself in male children in two very different ways: it is linked to increased aggressiveness on one hand, and greater manifestations of effeminacy on the other. A 1987 study of violent rapists found that 60 percent of them came from single-parent homes. A Michigan State University study of adolescents who committed homicides found that 75 percent of them were from broken homes. Girls without fathers fare no better. They become sexually active sooner and are more likely to have out-of-wedlock children.

 

Harvard Study: Armand Nicholi, of Harvard University, found that American parents spend less time with their children than parents in any other country except Great Britain. Even compared with their Russian counterparts, American fathers spend two fewer hours a day interacting with their children.

 

The USA Weekend article "Fatherless America" states: "Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of the decline in the well being of children. It is also the engine driving our most urgent social problems from crime to adolescent pregnancy to domestic violence."

 

The Dad Difference: Josh McDowell has been trying to find out what dads are doing in Christian families, and the news isn't good. In his book The Dad Difference, McDowell reveals that there seems to be a parenting gap. These statistics are from McDowell’s book: The average teen in our churches spends only 2 minutes a day in meaningful dialogue with his dad. 25% of these teens say they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father—a talk centered on the teens’ interests. A positive and continuous relationship to one's father has been found to be associated with a good self-concept, higher self-esteem, higher self-confidence in personal and social interaction, higher moral maturity, reduced rates of unwed teen pregnancy, greater internal control and higher career aspirations. Fathers who are affectionate, nurturing and actively involved in child-rearing are more likely to have well-adjusted children.— Dr. George Rekers, in Homemade.

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Dr. James Dobson cited a Cornell University study showing that fathers of preschool children on the average spend 37.7 seconds per day in real contact with their youngsters. In contrast, the study indicated that children watch television approximately 54 hours per week.— C.T.

 

Parent's Impact on Religious Beliefs : "Research has established that parents can have a significant impact on the religious beliefs and practices of their children. In one study it was found that fathers who frequently attend church (over three times per month), discuss religion at home, and are committed to their religion have sons who follow the same pattern concerning religious values and behavior. Interestingly, fathers who did not do these three things had an inconsistent pattern of influence over their son’s religious responses."— Dr. Michael Green

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Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers

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Effective Fathers are:

Committed to their children.

Know their children.

Are consistent in their attitudes and behavior.

Protect and Provide for their children.

Love their children's mother.

Are active listeners to their children.

Spiritually equip their children.

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Practical Ways for Men to Impact Fatherless Kids:

 

1. Be a mentor to a boy without a father through Big Brother or some other agency

2. Contact your local junior or senior high school to tutor a needy kid

3. Teach Sunday School

4. Become a leader in Awana, Pioneer Clubs, or Adventure Club

5. Meet one-on-one weekly, with a boy in your church or neighborhood who doesn't have a father in the home

6. Become a leader in Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts

7. Coach Little League or some other sport

8. Volunteer to work with needy kids in an inner city ministry

9. Hire a potentially "at risk" kid for yard work or in your business

10. Become active youth leaders in your local church or a parachurch organization

11. Start a church-based sports league that reaches out to needy kids in the community

12. Lead a Bible study in a juvenile detention center or group home

— June 1996 issue of The Standard

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Make Sure It's Really Dad! (Humor)

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A minister was conducting the funeral of a difficult old man who had not attended church in years.

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Nonetheless, he portrayed the man as though he had been his most intimate friend. In the most glowing colors he described him as a family man, a sportsman, and a business colleague.

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As the minutes wore on, the widow said to her son, "Son, go up there, won't you - and make sure it really is your dad!"

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It is easier today for parents to have children than for children to have parents.